Ego

Have you ever felt like a major part of your life is flitting out of your hands; that what made you has now forsaken you?

All my life, I have been the rock of the house and around; the shoulder to lean on, the pillar holding the roof. Ever since I can remember, I have taken charge, of life, of situations, of myself. Leading is now an inevitable part of me. The surroundings somehow made me intrepid and undoubtedly, proud of it.

As far as the human memory permits, as far as the memoires are visible through burgeoning layers of dust, I see a girl standing tall, prudent and vigilant. I see myself with a sword and shield, armored and ready. They say that children are like moist clay; they are chiseled permanently by time; turns out that my time cast me into a protector. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not complaining. It’s a great feeling- to be independent, to be self-possessed and more than anything else, to be strong. The confidence that comes as a part and parcel with the feeling that you are strong is commendable.

I can clearly recall; in the television series-Recess, the kindergarten kids have some that eat toothpaste and others that lead. I have a feeling I would have been like the latter, well not bullying though.

Today, as I stood in the midst of my den (it’s just something I like to call my room), I came face to face with a glitch in my otherwise perfect image about myself. It felt as though all that I am, or at least thought, is completely unreal. The pieces of the puzzle no longer fitted and the rain drops were no sweeter. Somehow, the mirror holding dream-land "me" was destroyed. This made me recline into the couch and think about why a small glitch banged me in the face so hard. I always believed that life gives something new, yet this present was somehow too much for me. My ego came in between the reality and my perception of it.

They say that it is your ego that creates an image of yourself superior or inferior to somebody else. It protects you from blows sometimes, but gives you the hardest ones the rest of the times.